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First off: the hours you work are insane. I think any rational spouse would say something to you about that. Especially since dating in san diego are sick.
Seondly: he's being irrational about he realistiy expects you to not do. I get that it comes from a place of fear and for you his wife but you can't let that run riot over your life.
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You might try describing the problematic nature, how it causes you turmoil and presenting some reasonable options that require give and take from both of you.
Then sit back and listen to his ideas. Ask for ways to make things better, etc. I've learned that a lot of negotiating with my husband can depend on timing, picking dating go battles, not being emotional and realizing that not everything needs to be date ideas la in one conversation.
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